Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Pride Can Suck It

All men {and women} make mistakes, but a good man {or woman} yields when he knows his course is wrong and repairs the evil.  The only crime is pride.”  -Sophocles

I've been thinking a lot about pride today.  In one aspect, pride can be a positive thing.  For example, I am proud of myself for making the decision to get sober and turn my life around.  I am proud of my mom for never giving up despite her illness.  I am proud of my sister for graduating from Miami University even though  it wasn't easy.  So on, and so on.  In fact, I am probably proud of you.

However, that's not the version of pride that I've been thinking about today.  While pride can be good, it can also be vain and self-destructive.  Jane Austen said, "Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously.   A person may be proud without being vain.  Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.”  I'm talking about foolish pride, people.  

Let me elaborate.  

My grand plan, until meeting with a transfer specialist last Thursday, was to finish school this year and graduate with a marketing degree by 2014.   I had decided that I would put all my energy into my classes and then find a respectable job post-graduation.  I did not want to get another part-time job at a coffee shop or retailer.  I thought that would be too embarrassing.  What would people think?  

You know what's embarrassing?  Caring so much about what other people think rather than doing what is best for me in this moment.  That's pride screwing with my head.  Maybe I'm not thrilled about the work that I have ahead of me.  Maybe I'm scared.  I'm going to be living at home longer than I thought and transferring to another University is going to be more of a challenge than I had anticipated.  It's not going to be easy but I want it too much to give up.  I will never give up.

Whether I get a job as a barista or a front desk associate, at least I'll know that I'm moving forward towards my larger goal.  I have a feeling that no matter what I end up doing this year to make money, I will find healthy pride in the fact that I'm becoming more financially responsible.  I want to pay for my Pilates Certification and help pay for the rest of my education.  I am 24 years old and I desperately want to support myself.  All of these things are possible once I stop letting my pride get in the way.  Hard work always pays off.

Pride can only be destructive if we let it be.  The choice is always ours.  

xox,

E

P.S.  If you know of anyone who is hiring, let me know.  I am officially open to anything.

3 comments:

  1. AH MY HEART. DAMNIT girl being 24 is so hard. Especially in SoCal. Full disclosure I couldn't live out on my own if it wasn't for a certain sugar daddy in my life...LOL. I don't make much at my job than I would as a Barista. Dude practically everyone I know still lives at home. It's CRAZY times we live in! You are grabbing life by the balls girlfriend...at your own damn pace.

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  2. BRITT. Thank you for making me feel less alone. I love you so much.

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  3. There is a place that you have never been, that you know you are always welcome to be. Open doors. Open arms. Open. Do only what *needs* to be done, and do what's right for you *now* ..but do not rush, the future awaits!

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