When I was in my early college years, I tried to convince myself that I had ADD so I could get myself on Adderall. I had an eating disorder and thought that this trendy drug would speed up my "lose every pound of fat or kill yourself" diet. The truth is, I just get distracted like everyone else. In fact, I came to It's A Grind today to read and write, but have spent the last 1.5 hours narcissistically browsing photo albums on Facebook while simultaneously posting recipes on Pinterest that I'll probably never attempt. What can I say? I'm a flawed human. But here's the silver lining: I'm drinking a sugar free vanilla latte, and I do have a subject idea here. You see, one of my friends was broken up with last night and it got me thinking. While I'm pleased to say that I'm happy with my romantic life today, I've definitely had my share of heartbreak. Who hasn't? I got through them though. However, I realize that I could have dealt with my past breakups [and plain ole bad news] better. In hopes of helping someone currently dealing with the blues, below is the advice that I...advise.
1. Do not drink over it. I remember pouring myself vodka shots mere seconds after a particularly ugly breakup. Seconds. To consciously deal with the new information that I had been dating an asshole for months was too much to consider. So I drank over it, which just prolonged the grieving process. While I'm not saying you need to go stone cold sober, I am saying that you should face your feelings with a steady head. Besides, alcohol is a depressant, dummy.
2. Control, alt, DELETE. Unless you guys ended things on mutual terms and plan on continuing a friendship (good luck), then I recommend deleting all contact information. Even if you have his or her digits memorized, removing that person from your social network is a huge step in moving on. It's called a break up because it's broken. If you feel like there were certain things left unsaid, tell it to your journal.
3. Channel your inner Taylor Swift. We are never, ever, ever getting back together. Sing it again. And again. Taylor has a song for every heartache. Ignore the fact that she is a total cat lady. [Actually, let's address that. If you have a cat, you need to trade it out for a dog ASAP if you desire any chance of being happy.] Country music, in general, will be helpful to you at this time. Regardless of how you broke up, Carrie Underwood's, Before He Cheats, might just be your saving grace. Also, there are some great self-help books out there if every song is triggering tears. I recommend Getting Past Your Breakup by Susan Elliott.
4. Exercise your blues away. You're angry and depressed at the same time. While you might want to deal with your emotions alongside Ben & Jerry, exercising for at least 30 minutes will increase your endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Ben & Jerry make you fat. Surround yourself with positive people and take care of yourself.
5. No feeling is final. The world is not over. Really. It may seem like it, but I promise that you'll look back on this time from a much happier place. The depression will absolutely pass. Learn from the experience and have faith that there's a better someone out there for you. It's all part of the process, babe.