Monday, February 18, 2013

Breath & Reboot

Slump (verb): to drop or fall suddenly; collapse:  Suddenly she slumped to the floor.

Dear reader, are you in a slump?  Got a case of the blues?  Just feeling "blah"?  Is your road rage getting out of control?  Perhaps you need to snap out of it.  Follow steps 1-5 in no particular order and you'll be gleeful in no time.

1.  Go for a drive.  Put your foot on it and drive like you just robbed a bank.  [Please don't take that too literally.]  Speed, however, is not as important as your stereo.  Sing loudly.  The trick is to play songs that you know all the words to.  I've been belting it out quite lately and, let me tell you, I always arrive at my destination stress-free.  For beginners, I suggest Halo by Beyonce.

2.  Pretend it's your birthday.  This one requires a little bit of imagination on your end.  Note: Skip this option if birthdays stress you out.  Personally, I don't like making a huge celebration on my day of birth.  However, I always wake up feeling...special.  Like, hey world, I was born today and people love me.  Maybe you won't wake up to hundreds of "Happy Birthday, beotch" texts, calls, and Facebook posts.  Because, remember, it's not actually your birthday.  But that doesn't mean you can't throw a party with cake, candles, and your drink of choice.  An Unbirthday Party is a perfect excuse to celebrate your fabulous self with your fabulous friends.  Another option:  Go to your favorite restaurant and tell them it's your birthday.  Free cake and praise never hurt nobody.

3.  Flirt. Date. Make Out.  Perhaps you are suffering from Single's Slump.  Snap out of it!  The cure may be to spice things up a bit.  Meet someone new or tell your crush how you feel.  Flirt your fanny off.  And don't say fanny.  Ever.  Dating [the right person] is fun, free, and exciting.  However, if you didn't meet anyone at your Unbirthday Party, set up an online dating profile.  In fact, I dare you.  You never know what could happen.  One of my friends recently got married to a wonderful man she met on  However, you will not find me on there.  I've seen too many Catfish episodes.  More on that in a later post.

4.  Switch up your routine.  A predictable schedule can be tiring.  Therefore, say "yes" more.  Go to a festival.  Do Pilates.  Learn how to cook like a top chef.  Take a French class.  Make art.  Start a blog.  Do #3.  Take a hip hop class.  Get a running buddy and follow a schedule together.  Wake up earlier.  Take time to watch the sunset.  Set up designated dinner party nights with your closest friends.  Sign up for a 10k.  Get a dog.  Help out someone in need.  Find a penpal.  Write a book.  Go on a roadtrip.  See what I mean?  Plenty of opportunities here.  Only boring people get bored.  

5.  Sweat.  Okay, this is obvious.  There is no denying the fact that getting your blood pumping creates endorphins.  Ten times out of ten, working out gets you back in the game.  I know this.  You know this.  Just do it.  



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