Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Love You, Mean It.

If you've been in a bookstore lately, you may have noticed that The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is super hot right now.  In other words, it's a NY Times Best Seller.  I remember reading this book years ago after ending my first real [real messy] relationship.  The information fascinated me.  At the time, I had no idea what my 'love language' was...and furthermore, what even was a love language?  It sounded kinda cheesy...like something my Grandma would suggest on Facebook.  I mean, did it even matter?  

Let me answer that:  YES.  

I learned that your love language is the verbal and nonverbal way you show love to your lover, boo, partner, etc.  And just to complicate things, the way that you like to receive love may be completely different than the preferences of your significant other.  Most likely, you're speakin' English while he's mumbling Korean.  You see, there are five love languages but most of us only speak one or two.  Fortunately, all of the love languages can be learned.  It's simply a matter of being informed.  Just to give you an idea, here are mine in chronological order.  Listen up, lover.

Quality Time 
This is my primary love language.  Uninterrupted time with you is significant to me.  I'd rather go on a hike/adventure than spend distracted time in front of a television.  Your iPhone, iPad, iTouch, i-anything [unless you're using it to play Chris Isaak or something] is absolutely going to be a mood killer.  Seriously, the worst.  Your undivided attention makes me feel loved...and will probably get you lucky.

Words of Affirmation  
A close second.  Actions don't always speak louder than words.  Just tell me I'm beautiful, dammit.  Verbal compliments are powerful.  Wanna step it up?  Write a love letter.

Physical Touch  
Hugs, kisses, touches on the arm...sex.  Touch translates into warmth, safety, and love.  Duh.

Acts of Service:  
If this is your primary language, you feel most loved and valued when others help you.  "Let me do that for you" is a good place to start.

Receiving Gifts:  
If you speak this language most fluently, a thoughtful gift or gesture makes you feel that you are known and cared for.  This is my lowest scoring language.  Opening gifts always makes me feel awkward.  I'd rather make out than receive a pair of earrings.

What's your primary love language?
It's a quickie.



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