Thursday, April 3, 2014


I used to follow the crowd and say, "I have no regrets" but I lied.  I have regrets and I'm not afraid to share them.  In no particular order, here are some of my unfortunate life decisions.
  • I regret wearing a fedora everyday in 2012.  Life is way too short to go around looking like Aaron Carter.  I only took it off to shower. The shame.
  • I regret not capturing the cricket that I saw in my room the other day.  The fact that a quick little asshole is still roaming my bedroom terrifies me on a daily basis, particularly when I'm getting into bed.
  • I LOVE you Kevin Spacey.  However, I regret watching House of Cards because it stole a week of my life that I can't get back. 
  • I regret dying my hair red on the fourth of July in my early college years.  That was RIDICULOUS and someone should have stopped me.  I need better friends.
  • I definitely regret eating sardines ever.
  • Yeah, I regret wearing pleather pants from Walmart in the 7th grade.
  • I regret not dating Leonardo DiCaprio.
  • I should regret letting someone touch my foot for $200 but a girl's gotta eat.  
  • I regret instagramming a pineapple the other day.  
  • I regret not coming up with the Cronut.
  • I regret ever forgetting to wear deodorant.
  • I regret posting so many emo lyrics as Facebook statuses.
  • I regret once thinking that life wasn't worth living.  Life is beautiful, even with red hair.


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