I used to follow the crowd and say, "I have no regrets" but I lied. I have regrets and I'm not afraid to share them. In no particular order, here are some of my unfortunate life decisions.
- I regret wearing a fedora everyday in 2012. Life is way too short to go around looking like Aaron Carter. I only took it off to shower. The shame.
- I regret not capturing the cricket that I saw in my room the other day. The fact that a quick little asshole is still roaming my bedroom terrifies me on a daily basis, particularly when I'm getting into bed.
- I LOVE you Kevin Spacey. However, I regret watching House of Cards because it stole a week of my life that I can't get back.
- I regret dying my hair red on the fourth of July in my early college years. That was RIDICULOUS and someone should have stopped me. I need better friends.
- I definitely regret eating sardines ever.
- Yeah, I regret wearing pleather pants from Walmart in the 7th grade.
- I regret not dating Leonardo DiCaprio.
- I should regret letting someone touch my foot for $200 but a girl's gotta eat.
- I regret instagramming a pineapple the other day.
- I regret not coming up with the Cronut.
- I regret ever forgetting to wear deodorant.
- I regret posting so many emo lyrics as Facebook statuses.
- I regret once thinking that life wasn't worth living. Life is beautiful, even with red hair.