Friday, July 12, 2013

You're An Idiot // Retail Edition

Yesterday, I carried a 30+ pound box of books until a tiny sparkle of sweat produced on my forehead.  While making the journey across the store, I heard a shrill voice in my direction: "Excuse me, hi, excuse me.  Do you know how to find a book if I don't know the title or the author?"  

Am I a fucking genie?

"Just one moment!", I cheerfully replied.

This is retail and people are idiots.  And the frustrating this is, you can't make the world a better place by confronting these people at your place of work.  It could perhaps offend a guy to tell him that he sounds like an undereducated asshole.  Instead, one has to vent to a slice of pizza, a good friend, or one's self-involved blog after work.  

Working in this type of environment [again] has reminded me just how ridiculously off the human race is.   Of course, I wouldn't make such a bold statement without backing it up with examples.

The following are real-life [idiotic] questions that I've been asked while on-the-clock:

Can I use my Borders gift card here?  [Note:  I don't work at Borders.]

Can you watch my daughter [screaming demon child] for a few minutes?

I read a book in the 90s.  It made me laugh and the cover was pink.  You know what I'm talking about, right?

What are you doing tonight?

Do you like reading?

Do you work here?  [No, I'm just wearing this obvious name tag for fun.  Idiot.]

Have you seen my wife?

Do you have any books on aliens?  Like, not cartoon aliens.  Actual aliens.

That time a 10 year old asked me where she could find 50 Shades Of Grey.



1 comment:

  1. oh how I love this post. i understand your pain